Being in relationship is one of the most demanding and meaningful of all human endeavours. Yet, we’re born to love and come together in this way. In fact for most of us engaging in intimate relationship building is non-negotiable even if we think at times, or rather wish, we could avoid it.  After navigating years of turbulent attempts to couple with Miss Piggy, Kermit the Frog aptly sums up the necessity and challenge of it all when he sings, “you can’t live with them; you can’t live without them…”

So why is it so difficult to maintain strong relationships, especially romantic ones, beyond the initial chemistry and excitement of the weekend rendezvous?

This is because we have it all wrong.

When it comes to relationships most of us passively adopt the expectations and social norms that we grew up with: relationships should be straightforward with people living forever in blissful harmony and mutual love without really having to do anything. Mostly unconsciously, this idea persists even if we never see it modelled at home or within our own relationships.

Relationships are a mirror.

Thinking of our close connections as torches of illumination to reflect back to us who we are, what we believe and where we need to change, fast tracks our personal transformation. This way of thinking or “reframing” as we like to say in NLP also helps our close  relationships become the sources of fulfilment we so want them to be.

This is because it takes our focus off finding fault and shifts our internal narrative, or as Brené Brown says, “the stories we tell ourselves,” to more personally empowering places where intimacy blossoms and true connection takes root.

When you think of relationships as mirrors reflecting what’s hidden in plain sight: your limiting beliefs and bad habits, it puts you in the driver’s seat of our own life.  And when you do this, all sorts of incredible things start to happen.

If you’d like to uncover your relationship blocks and/or strengthen a special connection, get in touch.