Self-Love in Five Minutes

“Life’s give and take becomes blissful. We love life and life loves us back.”

This is one of my favourite quotes from medical doctor and spiritual teacher Deepak Chopra. This is what happens when we’re able to tap the source of unconditional love.

Many things can trigger a hardening of our hearts: the stress of trying to juggle the needs of others with our own, interpersonal conflict, financial worries, and even just the routine of daily life.

Re-centering ourselves in the heart is the most powerful way to tap the endless supply of energy and strength it offers.

It also provides an incredible antidote to life’s daily grind. Love is our closest experience to the feeling of completeness; it’s also a healing source of regeneration. 

When you tune-into your heart on a daily basis, it’s as if you’re plugging into a powerful electrical socket.

This is no small step.

In doing so, you deliberately transfer back the responsibility of love from others to your-Self.  In fact, it’s the key to lifelong happiness and health. It’s also vital for growth and transformation. 

Unfortunately, we’ve practiced giving away our capacity to love.

When a child is asked why he feels safe and taken care of, he will point to his mother and father. This is how we learn to give the responsibility for feeling loved to someone outside ourselves. It’s only natural in childhood when we feel vulnerable and rely on others to care for us.

Today, however, when we look for love outside ourselves — either to a person, a job, or an identity — we deplete our ability to generate it from within. 

When you’re able to self-generate love, it becomes more than mere emotion or feeling. It becomes a state of powerful awareness, and you’re able to realise something simple, true and eternal: you are loved. Not just loved by your spouse, your friend or anyone outside yourself. You’re loved simply for being. And, you’re not waiting around for it to arrive, nor are you waiting to feel like loving.

In tapping our own deep source of love — our personal “well of being” — then, and only then, can we share it unconditionally.

5-minute Daily Visualisation:

Here’s a quick five-minute exercise that you can do every time you feel your heart being weighed down by negativity of any form. I encourage you to read it through, and then close your eyes and trust that you can visualise it effectively and with ease. I like to visit my “well of being” each morning to keep close to my heart and remind myself why I’m here in the first place.

  1. TURN INSIDE — Find a quiet place. Close your eyes and turn your attention inside. Feel your feet on the floor, your back against the support you’re leaning on and your breath in your nose or chest. Just observe what is present now for a few seconds. Relax into now.
  2. SEE YOUR WELL — When you’re feeling centered, allow your imagination to take you to a restful place somewhere outside in nature: a forest, a meadow or anywhere else you’re drawn to. It’s a beautiful day, so feel the warm sun on your face and shoulders, see the blue sky above you, and listen to the songbirds in the background. Now in the distance, there is a well … a deep well filled with life-sustaining freshwater. Walk towards your water well now. As you do, notice what it’s constructed from stone or wood, brick or concrete. Notice if it has a bucket hanging from a rope or chain any other type of container from which to extract the water. It can look any way you want.
  3. TAP YOUR WELL Touch the rim of your well as you look down over the side. Notice if it feels rough or smooth. Take your container and drop it into the well now. As it descends into the well, notice how far it must travel down to reach the water. Is the water close or far away from you? Is it dark down your well or is there a source of illumination emanating from somewhere? Does your well need topping up to bring your water level higher and closer to you? Maybe it’s full to bursting already just waiting for you to draw from its eternal loving reserves. Whatever the case may be, there’s only unconditional love here.
  4. TAKE A DRINK — Now bring your container up to the top once more and notice that it’s filled with crystal clear, freshwater. Let your lips touch the edge of the container and take a long cool sip. Actually, taste the water and imagine it entering your body and feeling it flow down your throat. As you do, notice that this drink expands your heart, opening it more fully than it was before. Feel that expansion. There’s more space inside your chest now because you’re filling it with the most potent elixir in the world: unconditional love. Hold that love close to you for a few minutes, absorbing it into every cell, and allowing it to rejuvenate and energise you.
  5. SAY GOODBYE — When you’re ready, place your container back where you can easily find it next time you visit and begin to say goodbye to your well. Slowly turn away and walk back across the path that you travelled to get there.

Well done.

You’ve now taken a powerful step towards self-care and an ability to continue to live with heart for both yourself and others.The steps above are designed to take about a minute each to complete, but feel free to meander through them for as long as you wish. If you can visit your “well” daily, it becomes a powerful signal to your unconscious mind that you are growing your own internal source of love. This empowering state guides how you show up in the world each day.

Don’t worry if, at first, you have troubling visualising your “well.”

You’ll get better with practice. This is just one of your superpowers that you can tap to create a more fulfilling life full to bursting with joy and love!